Antsy

Summer makes me antsy. Actually, every time of the year makes me antsy. It's a good thing I have something to focus my attention on at the moment. Tomorrow I'm going to head down to UVIC for the first time on personal business (other than when I applied a couple years ago and got told I was too stupid to attend their hoity-toity institution of higher learning). As my acceptance letter suggests, I am proud of my "academic achievement", although not in the way they imply. I found it amusing that my dad had the same reaction I did when he read that sentence, both he and I just scoffed. I know a lot of my disdain towards bureaucracy comes from him, so I wasn't surprised. I'll have to use a facet of that bureaucracy tomorrow when I visit an academic advisor. I don't hold them in very high regard, but I am sure I can glean some important information from the meeting. Perhaps I'll be surprised and get someone who sincerely wants to help and can listen, as well as advise (not a combination I'm used to when dealing with others).

Saying I'm focused is perhaps a misnomer. I may be focused on UVIC admissions at the moment, but my mind is something I have a problem making sense of at any given time. It's quite a messy place in there and often I have thoughts I would love to latch onto and develop, but even if I write them down, I seldom finish any project. That's one thing I love about school, it forces me to bring ideas to fruition on a single topic and sometimes I'm even pleased with what I write. I have quite a few papers I'm working on solely based on my own ideas and inclinations, but it is certainly painful the pace at which I plod along. I blame many things, but to a large extent it's my inability to ignore my computer games and other luxuries that I partake in. Oh well, so goes, perhaps I should just sit and stare at a blank screen for a few hours, as I do when writing those papers for class.